The Great Sex Guide

A richer and more fulfilling sexuality, isn’t that what we’re all looking for?
Here is a little guide to help you have a more liberated, more intimate, more pleasant sexuality, finally, quite simply better…

1- Ask yourself what excites you the most

The brain is the very first sexual organ, orgasm, lubrication, erection, fantasy, desire are the sexual functions controlled by our central nervous system. The study of neurosexuality focuses on the relationships between the brain and sexuality and when we are interested in the physiology of sexuality, it is clear that the most powerful sexual organ is not the one we we have to be the legs but what we have between the ears.
You must therefore go in search of what excites you the most. Is it the pornographic videos (ethical, of course)? Porn audios? Erotic books? Or just your imagination...
There are a multitude of choices when it comes to titillating content , it's up to you to find the one that suits your erotic language.

2- Ask yourself questions about your sources of pleasure

The adage is simple, to aspire to good sex you must first know everything about your personal pleasure...How? By planning small moments of solo pleasure.
Solo masturbation has many benefits :

• Boost self-confidence by learning to know your body and its desires better
• Allows you to feel more “sexy”, more desirable by discovering new ways to please yourself
• The brain moves from the Beta frequency (frequency where the nervous system is most active) to the Theta frequency (frequency where the brain is in deep relaxation), masturbation helps to practice mindfulness
• Allows a better connection to the body and allows you to be more attentive to your physical and emotional needs
• Helps to improve one's self-image by learning to give pleasure without the intervention of another person

In these moments it is not about orgasms but rather about pleasure and all the senses of your body.

3- Consent

There are not 3000 ways to give/ask someone for consent. The best way ? Be clear and direct!
Ask your partner if he/she really wants it, of course you can always find a nice way to turn the phrase so as not to ruin the atmosphere and throw a chill on the temperature which has surely already risen. The key is that in the end you have a real, informed, free and enthusiastic “YES” and not a “yes, okay, if you want”. Do you see the difference ?
And vice versa, if it is you who is asked for your consent. And if the person in front of you makes you feel guilty for saying no, leave immediately.
No one should question your “no” if you just want cuddles and tenderness without it going any further, you have every right to ask for that.

4- Take it easy

Don't rush things. Taking the time to feel, to discover the other's body, it's nice . You can still accelerate the movement at a few isolated moments, to play with the pleasures. But sex is especially good, when we take the time to explore, to play with each other's bodies, to tickle each other's weak points, to linger on each other's desires...

In fact, making love is a bit like eating, if you wolf it all down at once you don't take the time to appreciate all the flavors of the dish. Sex is the same.

5- What you won't learn from watching porn

Porn is for the cameras, all the movements and screams are exaggerated. Watching porn is cool (as long as it's ethical, I can't say it enough) but we must remember that it doesn't represent reality. Porn represents an idealized version of sexuality where actors with “perfect” bodies and exaggerated performances are featured.
The thing they don't tell you in porn but is important to know is that it's all in the pelvis. Therefore, slow down the pace and make smaller movements using your pelvic floor, by doing this type of movement it will allow your pelvic floor to build muscle. And we know that a muscular perineum generates stronger sensations by developing the contact area between the penis and the vagina.

6- Keep your bodies close

Sex is not about performance but about connection. To avoid losing the connection, keep your partner's body close to yours, plus this brings several benefits:

• Strengthened emotional intimacy between partners. Staying in touch with your partner's body creates a deep connection that goes beyond the simple physical aspect of the relationship.
• This releases oxytocin, often called the love hormone. This hormone plays a crucial role in strengthening emotional bonds and can help build trust and closeness between partners.
• Physical proximity during sex can intensify sensations and pleasure. Touch, body heat and other sensory stimuli contribute to a more immersive and satisfying experience.
• It is a powerful form of nonverbal communication. During lovemaking, physical contact allows partners to express themselves, share affection, and strengthen the emotional connection without having to use words.
• Staying close to your partner during intimacy can create a feeling of security and comfort. This can be particularly important for some people, strengthening the emotional connection and creating an environment for the relationship to flourish.

7- Communicate during the act

We tend to stay silent during sex, but moaning, moving, asking questions, it's very sexy!
Stay active with your hips and spine to let the pleasure flow through your body. Coordinate your breathing, this will create more intimacy. Ask your partner questions about rhythm, positions, movement etc.
It is important to emphasize that communication during intimacy must be consensual and respectful. Some partners may be more inclined to communicate than others, and it is crucial to respect individual boundaries. The key is to establish open and honest communication to create a positive and fulfilling sexual experience for both partners.

Lara